Monday, May 23, 2011
Keeping the criticism to a minimum and spreading the love with our kids.
All parents have expectations of their children. How could our children get ahead if we did not expect things from them? We want them to get good grades, be polite, be helpful, be friendly, be clean, be quiet, and the list goes on. Like other parents, I want these things from my children. I have one problem though, if I do not monitor myself, I can be too critical of my children. I am certainly no Tiger Mom, with screaming and forcing my kids to work hours on end at the same task. I can’t do that myself so how can I ask my kids to do it? But, I can be overly critical of what my children are doing: You cannot wear THAT shirt to school, why did you spill the dog food, you need to brush your teeth better. I think all parents can sound like …
Monday, May 16, 2011
Help children do their best on their standard tests.
Do you remember being in school, holding your sharpened #2 pencil, with hundreds of bubbles to fill in on a sheet of paper and while butterflies danced in your stomach? Right now, kids are going through the same thing this time of year as they participate in testing mandated by the No Child Left Behind laws. There are a few different type of tests so here is brief explanation of each: The Developmental Reading Assessment (DRA) is given to children in 1st and 2nd grade. It measures reading accuracy and comprehension. Students are tested on grade level books. The testing is usually administered by their primary teacher. This is just a simple measure of the school’s ability to teach reading. Children are scored below, at, end of, or above …
Monday, May 9, 2011
Finding a balance in parenting with good cop/bad cop styles
I always have moments with my children when I cannot take anymore. They refuse to brush their teeth, make their beds, or put their clothes on. Then I utter one of the most cliched phrases in all of parenting: “Wait until I tell your father.” It is the Holy Grail of threats. I know it is not a virtuous parenting tool, but it works amazingly well. It blows me away that my threat even works. I am the hot-blooded, quick to anger parent. My husband is completely chill and would probably let the kids burn the house down before he suggested they might want to think about possibly not letting them play with matches. Something about the idea of him being angry sends chills down my children’s spine. So I wonder why I always end up being Cruella de …
Monday, April 11, 2011
Keeping your kids entertained at home so you know what is going on
On any given day there are six to twelve kids storming through my house, crawling through windows, and emptying my pantry. While this could drive any mother crazy, and has almost put me over the edge a few times, I would not have it any other way. I know the key to keeping the kids at my house is entertaining, mediating, and feeding. This helps make my house the central hangout and keeps my brood under my watchful eye. My preference for children being entertained would be that the entertainment take place outside. There is no reason kids cannot enjoy the greater outdoors 90 percent of the time. Although I do not have a huge yard (who does around here?!), we have managed to squeeze in a trampoline and keep a garage full of bikes, scooters, …
Monday, March 21, 2011
Always letting your child win might not be the best idea
One of my family’s’ favorite things to do is to play games. With three children, two are always competing over something. We love playing basketball, soccer, any contest, and board games.We turn everything we possibly can into a competition. Someone is winning, and someone is losing. I am not sure that is the best thing to do, but it inevitably happens. Not one of my children is passive; they are all very fierce and outgoing. When my children were very tiny, I would let them win here and there. It really seemed to put wind in their sails. As they get older, I am not letting that happen and wondering if letting my children win when they have not earned it is a good idea. At Chutes and Ladders, I will let them draw a different card if they …
Monday, March 14, 2011
We all have moody periods, but it is important to know when your child needs help to heal.
Every parent wants to believe his or her children are happy and healthy. It is hard to imagine your child being ill. Worse than a physical illness, is a mental illness or depression that is not visible and hard to diagnose. As children get older, especially during the teen years, they can be moody. It is important for parents to know the signs of depression and the available options to help their child. It can be hard to bring up depression with your children, but they know they do not feel normal and that can compound an already challenging situation. Depression is not an easy topic to think about when it comes to our children. Deciding if your child is going through a difficult time or truly depressed is a hard call to make. AOL Health …
Monday, March 7, 2011
Parents have to take ownership in their child's failures and successes
The world of Moms is buzzing right now about “Tiger Mom” Amy Chua (not to be confused with Charlie Sheen’s “Tiger Blood”). Her controversial book and articles have brought new focus onto parenting techniques and skills. Most parents I know really try hard to raise their children in the best way that they know how. It may be on target, and it may be off base. Effort is a large part of the battle. The hardest part about parenting has to be that you do not know how you did until it is over. The day when a child reaches adulthood and you go “Wow, I rock”, or “Crap, I really messed that up” is the culmination of years of blood, sweat, and tears. You never know when that day will be. Your child could be 18 or 32. As Moms I know discuss their …
Monday, February 28, 2011
Why I love to travel with my family
Winter is starting to break, and thoughts of summer are beginning to take over my mind. I can hardly wait for warm weather and school over. The thing I am looking the most forward to: Vacations! Weekends at the shore, trips home to Kentucky, and a trip to Disney World. I love to travel (which comes in handy being a military wife) and can never get enough of it. I was shocked when my husband was not sure if we should take a summer vacation or go to Disney. How could anything be more precious than the time we spend with our families? With the exception of last summer (we spent two months “wintering” in AZ while my husband attended a school and moved) we have gone to Disney almost every year. I could hardly believe it when he was not sure if …
Monday, February 21, 2011
A child's grade card can be more than an academic report. It can also show parents where their parenting abilities stand
Last week my children’s grades came home. My oldest child got an almost perfect progress report detailing exactly how brilliant and wonderful he is. I was beside myself with pride, relishing in the fact that I was such a great parent. Then, in a mere instant, upon opening my middle child’s progress report, I felt like a complete failure as a parent. He was not meeting the basic standards in, of all grades, kindergarten. I realized how much stock I put into their progress reports, not on in terms of my kids’ academic abilities, but in terms of my parenting skills. Of course, if my child comes home with perfect marks, I am a perfect parent. That could not be further from the truth! After realizing how upset I was about my children’s progress…
Monday, February 14, 2011
Teaching our children to be loving and tolerant to everyone can be difficult.
Valentine’s Day is such a weird holiday. It celebrates romance and love, and puts unusual pressure on people to show their significant other just how much they love them. This year, it taught me a life lesson about my children, their personalities and how they feel about other people. My kids class Valentine’s ended up being a huge lesson to me on each of my children’s characters and an opportunity to discuss their likes and dislikes of the other students in their class. I tend to be a very cold and aloof person. I know for sure my middle child is very much like that, even though my other two are very kind and loving. As I sat down with my five year old and he looked at his list, I learned far more about his nature than I could have …
Jennifer Armstrong
10:26 am on Monday, May 16, 2011
Much of how we feel about our children's school achievement is driven by fear. We fear our children won't learn, won't succeed, won't get into the right college, won't get a job, won't find life satisfaction, etc. Fear is such a large part of parenting that it is the inspiration for the Lion's Whiskers blog www.lionswhiskers.com. We talk about Six Types of Courage for parents and children - … more ›